See the Main Page for Content Warnings, Characters, Relationship, Etc.
“Inanimate objects can be classified scientifically into three major categories;
Those that don’t work,
Derek walked into Garcia’s office and perched on the edge of her desk trying to avoid monitors and the other usual clutter. When she turned and granted him one of her brilliant smiles, Derek attempted to flash one back but his mind was weighed down with thoughts of the man out in the other room. Unsure and confused, he found himself fidgeting as he felt her watching him, while he tried to find the words to express why he’d come in there.
“Pen, do you think Reid has been different lately?” He finally asked, looking at his hands folded loosely in his lap and then the floor beneath them. “I mean, all things considered, Reid is always ‘different’, but lately do you think he’s been…” Derek shrugged and Garcia arched an eyebrow pausing to wonder what he really wanted before answering.
“Yes, actually I do,” Garcia finally responded turning her full attention to the man perched on her desk like a first grader who knew he was getting punished, but wasn’t sure if you knew what he’d done yet. “I’m not sure about the lately part, but yes Spencer is acting ‘different’ as you call it. He has been for awhile. Sometimes I think you people aren’t all that observant.”
“You people?” Derek echoed arching an eyebrow at her and unconcerned Garcia shrugged before explaining. “Yes Derek, you people, as in you profiler types. You’re always so intent on studying every tiny detail of someone that I think you miss the big things. And you, my Sweetness, have been missing quite a bit when it comes to our dear Dr. Spencer Reid.”
“Like what?” Derek asked concerned, leaning forward slightly as he momentarily disregarded the slight to his observational skills. “Is the kid ok?”
Garcia snorted, shaking her head, making Derek wonder what he’d said that was amusing. “First off, Derek, Spencer isn’t a kid. I realize everyone thinks that and, compared to the rest of you age wise, I suppose he is, but in all the important ways he’s not really and never has been. Secondly, anything I know would be privileged information between friends and I am not about to spill the beans. I can say though that he’s been working harder than normal lately. His work hours have been longer than he’d usually put in, which for Spencer is a scary thought.”
Derek sat back, nodding. He’d noticed that Spencer seemed to be burning the midnight oil harder than he usually did and decided maybe that was all there was to it. “That’s probably just it. He just needs to relax, get out and have some fun. Too bad girls scare him. Do you think Reid is asexual?”
Having been in the process of taking a sip of her drink, Garcia quickly choked and coughed at the thought before turning an astonished gaze upon Derek. She’d known he didn’t pay much attention to Reid, but she’d thought he was smarter than that. “Are you really that blind?!” She shrieked gaping at him and Derek found himself rushing to explain his theory sure that it made sense.
“It makes sense Pen. I mean he’s scared of girls. Sure he kissed that Lila Archer, but really she kissed him first so I’m not sure that counts. Gideon tried to set him up with JJ and from what I hear that was and I quote ‘the oddest date I’ve ever been on’. He’s never shown any kind of sexual interest in anyone really so. It makes sense.”
“Derek, he’s not asexual!” She repeated indignantly growing angry at the other man who was obviously blinder than a bat and she was seriously beginning to wonder how he’d managed to fool everyone to the contrary.
“Well then how do you explain it?” Derek insisted scowling at the gaping woman in front of him, who upon hearing his question began, flapping her arms around as if she was going to take flight.
“DEREK, HE’S GAY!” She blurted. It was a toss-up as to which of them was more stunned. Before he could ask another question, she was up and tugging him off the desk and pushing him out the door.
“Pen, what are you talking about?” He finally asked trying to turn as she was shoving him through the doorway.
“No, no, no! I’ve said too much already, Derek. I’m not going to fall prey to those eyes of seduction any more. Out!” She insisted pushing him and trying to shut the door at the same time.
When he was given the choice of leaving or having his hands slammed between the door and the doorframe, Derek left to process what he’d heard wondering if he could have been hallucinating.
Those that break down
Spencer had spent a fairly boring and all together uneventful day at his desk trying to finish up his paperwork. They were between cases as J.J. Tried to decide where they needed to be next and the team was enjoying a moment to breathe between cases. It seemed to Spencer though that Derek wasn’t having quite as a productive a day.
Every time he looked up the other man seemed to be watching him, and when he wasn’t doing that he was staring back at the hallway that led to Garcia’s office, a fact that was making Spencer quite anxious. Logically he knew that there could be any number of reasons why Derek seemed to be preoccupied with something that involved both him and Garcia. Being the genius he was though Spencer reasoned that there was really only one thing that could be distracting his co-worker so badly. Just the notion of the idea that was forming in his head made his stomach quiver with nausea.
He’d tried ignoring it. Using his powers of concentration to forget about the terrifying possibility and loose himself in the mounds of paperwork in front of him. But for once, Spencer’s powers seemed to be slipping because as the faint sheen of sweat began covering his forehead, as his hands began to shake, as his vision began to haze as his mind began to wander, all he could think about were the terrifying possibilities of Derek finding out The Secret. He wondered not for the first time what he’d do, where he’d go if the revelation of said secret forced him to leave the first real family he’d ever had.
Deciding that ignoring the situation wasn’t getting him anywhere, and too terrified to ask Derek himself, Spencer decided to try the next best thing. Getting up he steadfastly ignored the gaze he felt upon him and made his way carefully back to Garcia’s office.
Reaching the door once again open, Spencer didn’t bother knocking, but instead walked in shutting the door behind him drawing Garcia’s attention. Seeing her looking away quickly, Spencer felt his stomach begin to descend downward somewhere towards his intestines as he leaned against the hard metal surface for support. “Garcia do you know why Derek has been staring at me all day?” Spencer asked wanting to be fair and still holding tightly onto his delusion that there could be another possible reason for why the older man was suddenly so interested in him.
“I didn’t mean it, Spence,” she finally said softly and meekly. Closing his eyes as his head rested against the door, Spencer tried to stop his body from trembling as his nightmare slowly became reality.
“So he knows?” Spencer asked needing clarification before he jumped off the cliff looming in front of him.
“No Spencer, not the big part! Only that your gay.” Garcia rushed to offer hoping that it would in some way make things not so bad and Spencer had to admit it could be worse.
“So he doesn’t know,” Spencer again asked trailing off before he completed the thought. He was unable to actually speak the words that would reveal his whole secret but starving for the clarification nonetheless unwilling at this point to relax even a little until he knew it was absolutely safe.
“No, Spence, I wouldn’t ever do that! And it was a mistake I swear. He was in here with those eyes, turning those super powers on me and I was helpless. He just made me so mad! And I had to defend you and before I knew it…”
“Wait,” Spencer interrupted frowning, his eyes opening as he studied her knowing something important was just missed. “What do you mean you had to defend me?”
“He thought you were asexual, Reid!” She shrieked making Spencer wince as he ran a hand over his face and up into his hair. “I mean honest to God he’d convinced himself that you were asexual because you didn’t impress J.J. on that date you two had.”
“We’re just FRIENDS Garcia!” Reid shouted lifting his head only to let it drop back against the door with a loud satisfying thump. The pain caused by the action served to momentarily distract him from the quagmire he was quickly sinking into.
“I know, Reid, I know,” Garcia soothed watching him wide eyed with anxiety. “It’s silly, but he was sure and I couldn’t just let him… I mean it’s stupid and… Spencer he obviously doesn’t pay much attention… I mean… you know I had to do it right?”
Nodding Spencer pulled away from the door opening it up, but pausing in the middle of the doorway. “It’s ok Garcia. I know you didn’t mean it. Just don’t tell him the rest ok? He’d never forgive me if he found out the whole truth as abysmal and hopeless as it is. I mean only a fool would fall in love with someone in the BAU right? And a straight man on top of it?” Shaking his head Spencer walked away as Garcia turned back to her computer with a heavy sigh wondering how she could make it better.
With her eyes turned to her computers Garcia didn’t see the figure sneak away from one of the nearby doorways. Thus she and Spencer both were left unaware that their conversation had been overheard.
and those that get lost.” – Russell Baker
Derek knew it was wrong eavesdropping on his friends like this, but he needed answers. He hoped in vain that what Garcia had said earlier had been only a distorted fact taken way out of context. He reasoned that she had hurried him out before saying anything else, so it was possible that what she’s said was what she hadn’t meant.
“So he knows?” He heard Spencer ask and knew they were talking about him.
“No Spencer, not the big part! Only that your gay.” Derek’s eyes widened at the statement. “Jesus,” he thought to himself, “there’s more?”
“So he doesn’t know.” Derek wondered at how relieved Spencer sounded and was shocked at how hurt he was at the thought that there was something Reid didn’t want him to know. He knew they weren’t best buddies, but he’d thought that they were at least friends and had begun to think of the younger man like a little brother. Or at least that’s the definition he’d stubbornly assigned to his feelings.
“He thought you were a-sexual Reid!” He heard Garcia shriek and winced at the theory wishing she hadn’t told Reid, but figured it was only fair. He knew though that the other man wouldn’t take it well. And really, how well could anyone take something like that.
“We’re just FRIENDS Garcia!” He heard Reid shriek indignantly himself and momentarily wondered if he wasn’t spending too much time with the girls. Looking back on things with the new facts, he could see the errors in his reasoning though. He’d wrongly interpreted Reid’s sexual indifference to women making a leap in judgment that he knew he’d been better trained against.
“It’s ok Garcia. I know you didn’t mean it. Just don’t tell him the rest ok? He’d never forgive me if he found out the whole truth as abysmal and hopeless as it is. I mean only a fool would fall in love with someone in the BAU right? And a straight man on top of it?” Derek flattened himself against the wall inside the room he was hiding in hoping Reid didn’t notice him as his mind spun.
“Reid was in love with one of them?” He thought somewhat dazedly. Straightening from the wall, Derek looked out into the hallway and snuck away thankfully avoiding detection. Seeing that it was late enough that he could leave, Derek quickly grabbed his things and rushed out relieved when he didn’t run into Spencer on his way out.