Please see the Master Page for full Content and Warnings!
Chapter Note: One more chapter of the backstory left after this, and then the story will jump to Supernatural Season 3 & 4 Timeline.
Chapter Summary: Tony finishes his story, and then after an exhausting day has a run-in with his little brother that doesn’t go well. Once he falls asleep, he finds himself drawn to a familiar safe haven and the one person or being he knows has his back.
Chapter Three: Angels and Turmoil
“You expect me to believe that some Angel is talking to you? You expect me to believe that they even exist?”
“Singer,” Jim started to speak, but Tony cut him off. He just wasn’t willing to deal with him anymore.
“How can you not believe in Angels, Mr. Singer?”
The two fell silent, but eventually, Bobby got over his confusion at the question enough to speak. “Excuse me? What does that mean?”
Tony slouched down in the booth slightly and shoved the plate away to be picked up by Cindy. He’d just have to go hungry. The food wasn’t going to stay down if he forced it.
“After my Guide and I started being able to communicate, he explained some things to me. He told me that there were things about me and about what he needed from me that he couldn’t tell me yet. He also gave me some things. Some extras he called them to get me through until I had protection, and some things I needed to tell the truth from the lies. So, that’s where my dreams or visions came in. He said he and I being able to talk was a product of him deciding to be my Guide.
“Unfortunately, he told me that he couldn’t always show up in my dreams because he had to be careful that he wasn’t found. So, when he couldn’t show up in person, he would give me visions. Sometimes they would be things that would come far down the road. Sometimes they would be things that would be closer. Sometimes they would be things that had passed to validate or dispute what the demons had said.”
Lifting his gaze, Tony looked Bobby Singer straight in eye eyes hoping that Pastor Jim was as firmly on his side as it felt. “I would think that a man who had watched his wife be possessed by a demon, would be more prone to believe in Angels. Do you really think that evil exists without good? The universe doesn’t work like that. Hell, I’m just basically a kid as far as experiences go compared to you two and I know that.”
“How the hell!” Bobby snapped but was cut off before he could continue.
“I just told you,” Tony interrupted. “At this point, I don’t care if you believe me. I, most of the time, don’t understand what the visions are telling me, but the longer I talk to you, the more I realize that there is no convincing you now. You’ve made up your mind about my story. It doesn’t take a psychic or an empath to see that you don’t believe most of my story. That’s fine. Because see, the day will come when you do believe me. There will be a moment when the truth smacks you in the face, and not even you will be able to deny it. When we see each other again after that though, count on me telling you that I told you so. I think I am gonna be a little bit petty about this whole thing. I’m pretty sure I’m earning it.”
Turning his attention away from the Doubting Thomas, Tony looked at Pastor Jim. “I need to know if you believe what I am saying is possible. I need to know that someone on this fucked up planet believes in me.”
The Pastor smiled at him, but Tony couldn’t place the expression until several minutes later when he realized it was fondness. It had been quite a long time since someone smiled at him that way. Since Aaron left in fact. Suddenly he just wanted to curl up in the man’s arms and hear him whisper that it would be ok like Aaron used to when he was a child and it was thundering outside.
“My son, I am a servant of the Lord. I didn’t sign up for this life just so I could hunt ghosts and demons. I believe that Jesus died on the cross to save our souls. I believe that God created heaven and earth. I believe that Eve ate the fruit from the tree after being manipulated by the serpent. I believe that Moses parted the Red Sea to save the Israelites from the cruel Pharaoh and that he got two tablets of stone filled with commandments on the mountain top from God. I very definitely believe that there are Angels in heaven and that one could have reached out to you to Guide you through this.”
Tony could feel the tears in his eyes and embarrassed brushed them away only they wouldn’t stop. It has been so fucking long since someone believed in him. He’d been just existing for what seemed like ages on nothing but the dust remains of the love his big brother gave him. Every night he slept with his hand clenched around the dog tags that he never took off. Now, this stranger walks into his life and just believes some crazy story.
Reaching down his shirt front, he pulled out the dog tags so that the two men could see them. “My big brother gave me these before he left the last time. I haven’t taken them off once since then. I believe that if I don’t follow the demon inhabiting Senior that he’ll kill Aaron and hurt Spencer. Every day he taunts me, ridicules me, beats me. Several times a week I am to make myself available to his friends. Some demon, some human, but all of them want things from me that I don’t want to give. I don’t… I’ve never felt like most guys. I’ve never understood locker room talk after gym class.
“Cindy and Steve helped me understand that I’m not defective or broken sexually. What I am is what is called homoromantic asexual. It means that romantically I am attracted to men, but I am not sexually attracted to anyone. So, having to let these… men fuck me to save my brothers lives is literally torture. Even if they were only humans it would be torture, but the fact that several of them are demons too makes it worse.”
Tony took a deep breath wiping his face off once more, before pulling his coke over and draining it. Looking around he signaled Cindy for more and remained quiet as the woman came over. He watched silently as she refilled drinks, and took plates making sure to give her what he hoped was a reassuring smile before she left. Once she was gone, he continued his story.
“If there is any silver lining to this whole horrible mess, it’s that the demons I’m around are really damned chatty. They like to talk, and I have a feeling that they’re talking about things that I am not supposed to know. There’s bad coming. The worst bad that could possibly happen to us as a human race. My Guide hasn’t confirmed it yet, but I can tell he knows something. Sometimes I get a glimpse of another man… well, a kid really. I think that I’m supposed to find him. I can’t do that without my brothers though. Which is where you two come in.”
Taking another long drink of his coke, Tony gathered the last of his reserve of hope and dove in. “I need you two to exorcize the demons in my parents’ meat suits. I have to have my brothers’ safe. I can’t do what I have to do without them.”
“And, what about Spencer?” Jim asked gently. “You indicated that you were having problems with him. How are you going to resolve that?”
Tony just shook his head and shrugged. “I honestly have no idea, but I am gonna have to find a way.”
Tony smiled sadly. “After all, I am my brother’s keeper.”
Jim inclined his head to one side as if agreeing reluctantly. Having run out of words, Tony turned his attention to the window and let his mind roam free. He was done speaking for the moment.
Later that evening, Tony was lying in his bed listening to a Korn and Limp Bizkit mix CD when his door opened, and Spencer stomped in.
“Where are mom and dad?”
Lowering his gaze from the ceiling that he’d been zoned in on, Tony shrugged his shoulders as he studied his little brother. “Why do you have to be so weird? Use words, Tony!”
Huffing, Tony pushed himself up and rested his back against the wall beside his bed. Stubbornly he studied his brother for a while, not really feeling the urge to work on the little brat’s schedule. Times like this it was hard to remember why he wanted to save the snot so bad.
“WHERE ARE THEY!?” Spencer shouted stomping his foot, but Tony just lifted an eyebrow unimpressed. When words finally did come out of his mouth, they weren’t what he’d expected. He was definitely going to blame Bobby Singer for putting him in a mood.
“What happened to you, Spencer?”
“What the fuck does that mean? Nothing happened to me, except you are a dickface that won’t answer my question.” Spencer snapped. Tony just ignored the insults though. He was well used to them by then.
“You used to be a good person, Spencer. You used to treat people with respect. I know that at 15 you don’t wanna hang out with your big brother. Hell, when I was your age I was happy that Aaron was at college. I still respected him though. I still loved him. I didn’t call him names like dickface or asshole or loser. Certainly not with the hatred that you do when you speak to me. I didn’t tell him he was stupid, and even when I didn’t agree with him I at least listened to him and considered what he was saying.
“I know you think that you’re the smartest person that ever lived, and I know that I’m not as smart as you are. But Spencer, I’m not as dumb as you think. All your logic and facts and book knowledge aren’t going to save you from what’s coming.”
“Jesus not this shit about mom and dad, again! Why do you have to be such a liar?!” Spencer bit back scowling angrily.
“Yesterday, dad brought one of his friends over and they raped me.” Tony stopped for a moment, frozen at the sound of the words coming out of his mouth with Spencer in the room. Forcing himself to continue, he pulled his shirt off so that his little brother could see the bruises and burns and marks left by the beatings and the sexual attacks.
“When they were done dad beat me because I wasn’t thankful enough. Not that I think it’s dad anymore. I just say dad because you don’t believe that there is something in dad and mom… that there are demons in dad and mom, doesn’t make it untrue.”
“You’re really fucking disturbed. You know that?” Spencer spat once more, and Tony tried to keep a lid on his pain.
“And you are not the little brother that I had when Aaron left us the last time. For the record, you little brat, it hurt me too. You aren’t the only one who he left. You aren’t the only one scared shitless that he won’t ever come back, or that he’ll only come back in a fucking metal box. I realize that the thing in mom has your head so full of BS that you can’t see beyond your own presumed greatness. I want you to know though that when this is over, I will still love you. I will always love you. I just don’t like you very much right now.”
Laying back down, Tony stared at the ceiling, determined to ignore his brother until this was all over. He wouldn’t abandon his mission though. Aaron had assigned him the task of watching out for him, and he would protect him as much as possible even if it killed him.
“I don’t know where the meat suits are. Now go away, and stay out of my room unless you are in trouble. You’re a really piss poor brother, Spencer. When this is all over, I’m not just going to forgive you I think. I’m not talking anymore now. See yourself out of my room.”
The sound of the door slamming and a picture falling off his wall signaled his brother’s exit. Reaching for the remote, he turned up the volume on Disturbed and let the music break the barriers holding in his pain. With only Spencer home, he didn’t have to worry that anyone would intrude on his tears for the next ten something minutes.
Tony didn’t remember falling asleep but knew he was when he looked around and saw the familiar English pub instead of his bedroom. Sitting up on the red leather bench seat that he’d been laying on, he looked around for his Guide without seeing him. For several moments though, he just sat there and let all the pain just drain away.
He liked this place. Not for the first time, he wondered if this place really existed somewhere. If it didn’t it needed to. The walls above his head were painted dark green, and lined with shelves that held random pictures. He could always hear the sound of a crackling fire and smell the scent of fish and chips. Standing, he made his way through to the bar. It was a long dark mahogany with beer taps, and a row of red plaid covered stools. At one end, there were two jars with pictures of dogs on them. Peeking inside he saw that today the one was filled with chocolate chip cookies. Scooting around behind, he poured himself a draft from the tap. Then with cookies in hand, he made his way to the back where the private room was. He guessed that was where he’d find his Guide. He wasn’t always in the same place, but the private room in the back seemed to be his favorite.
Sure enough, when he reached the room, the fire he’d heard cracking could be seen in the fire place. His Guide was seated in one of two leather chairs positioned in front of it. A cigarette in one hand and a tumbler of what he guessed was scotch in the other. Making his way over, Tony settled in beside the being and waited for him to speak. Sometimes it happened right off, and sometimes it took a while. Sometimes he was full of laughter and jokes, and others he was maudlin with tales of nothing but sadness and anger. One thing that could be certain was that he could not be rushed.
He knew he must have fallen into a zone staring at the flames because the sound of the man’s British accent startled him. “Family can be the best thing in the world, and the worst. Sometimes all at once. They have the ability to make everything better with just a single look or word of love. They can also cause a pain worse than your worst enemy just as easily. I am sorry that I can’t do something about Spencer. Unfortunately, he is outside of my realm of influence at the moment. That bitch inhabiting your mother’s body has him sealed off from heaven’s guidance.”
“So, it is her fault that he’s changed so much?” Tony asked, wondering if the words should bring as much relief as they did.
The blond nodded and took a drag from his cigarette before going on. “He’s young, and easily influenced. Fortunately, she is unable to do any permanent damage. They’d like to sink their claws into him, but I did manage to at least prevent that.”
“He doesn’t have his own… well, you?” Tony asked turning his body slightly so that he could look at the man. When he got a quick smile, he felt more of his hurt lessen. Sometimes he wished that he could just stay in this pub forever.
“Technically speaking yes, but not quite my level no. You did good today, Boyo. I know it’s probably hard to see at the moment but the ol’ geezer will come around eventually. As you said today, he won’t really have a choice.”
“So, you were watching?” Tony asked hesitantly, and the Guide just shot him a look of amusement.
“I told you before, mate, I am always watching. I was certainly watching your biggest milestone so far. I am proud of you. It wasn’t easy, but you battled through and didn’t let him pull you into an argy-bargy.”
Tony grinned big. “I know that one! Argument, right?”
“Right-O chap! You’re catching on!”
Tony snorted amused as he sipped his beer. “You don’t really give me much choice.”
The man or being shrugged and returned his gaze to the fire. “You were right by the way. I am an Angel. I am an archAngel to be exact. I can’t tell you my name just yet. It wouldn’t be safe for either of us, but I thought it was time that you knew you were right about what I am. Jim Murphy is a good man. One of the few true men of the cloth in my estimation. He will serve you well over the years. You have my word that you can trust him. He’ll get you out of this jam. That ol’ geezer will too for that matter. He just won’t believe the bit about what I am just yet. They won’t be your only help though. Don’t you fret.”
When the Angel turned his gaze back toward him, Tony felt himself relax at the open affection in the man’s eyes. “You are worth going against the others for, Boyo. I promise I won’t let you end up on this path alone. You have my word.”
Nodding Tony yawned and turned his eyes back to the fire eventually falling asleep. Next, to him the Angel smiled and snapping his fingers covered him with a blanket. He’d let the boy sleep there as long as he could. His mortal body needed it. Turning his attention back to the flames, the Angel thought back on the visit he’d made a few months back. More than ever he knew that it had been the right thing to do.
He’d been watching over his charge. Tony was recovering from another deplorable afternoon with those abominations, and he could see that the boy was near the end of his rope. Oh, sure in human years he was a man, but to an archAngel as old as the earth itself, he was still just a child. It was painful to watch someone that he’d grown to care about go through such a thing. He hated that he couldn’t step in and stop it.
Unfortunately, to do so would reveal him to the others, and nothing good could come from that. He’d been debating his options when he felt the presence of the only of his brethren who knew about this place. Turning his head, he snorted as he saw Samael walk in carrying a bottle of the American beer he favored.
“Well look what the dogs dragged in. Samael, I am surprised to see you so far away from your charge.”
The other Angel sat and rolled his eyes. “He’s studying for a test. His dad and brother have gone on a hunt and left him behind for once. I thought I would come see what you’re angsting about. I could feel you emoting all the way over on my boat. Tony have a rough evening, Azrael?”
The elder Angel nodded as he refilled the scotch in his hand with only a thought. “I need to do something more. He can’t continue as he is. There won’t be enough left of him to stop what’s to come if I don’t find a way to stop those blights.”
“Well, I might have an idea. Have you thought of encouraging him to seek out one of the hunters?”
Azrael tilted his head to one side. “Thought about it. I need the right one though, and I don’t know exactly who that is at the moment. He needs someone that can help long term. Not just now.”
Samael nodded and held out a paper. “I might have your solution. There is a hunter named Bobby Singer. He can help with the immediate problem. His wife died while being possessed by a demon. I am not sure he’d be right long term. Plus, he’s closely associated with my boy, but… His father has a friend that I think would be perfect for your Tony.”
Azrael frowned. “You think one of John Winchester’s friends would be good for my broken boy? Have you gone daft?”
Samael held up a hand. “This one isn’t like John. Hell, Bobby isn’t for that matter, he’s just a little… too gruff for what your boy needs at the moment. He and John have a friend though who is a Pastor. His name is Jim Murphy. He’s one of the faithful and true. Sam was talking to him today on the phone. That’s where I got the idea.”
Azrael turned the idea over in his head. “I will look in on this holy man. If I agree then I will set things in motion with Tony. I need more than that though.”
“Why are you such a Debby downer today? Something else happen?”
Azrael sighed aggravated. “I checked in on big brother the other day and overheard him speaking with one of the men in his unit. He’s thinking of signing up for longer. He’s going to just leave those boys alone.”
“Well to be fair, he thinks that they’re ok. Have you thought about just talking to him yourself?”
Azrael frowned and turned to look at his friend. “Like what? Just pop in for a visit?”
“Why not? We’ve been visiting men and women in battle for centuries. It isn’t like it would be unusual. Tell him enough to get him home. Tell him that his brother is in danger, and he needs him. I saw Aaron Hotchner’s Guardian Angel the other day, and he says that he’s a good man. He thinks that his brothers have turned their backs on him because he isn’t getting letters.”
Azrael sighed agitated and shook his head. “The fuckin’ wanker. As if Tony would turn his back on him. The boy practically worships the ground he walks on. How would I do this without the guardian finding out? They can’t know I am still alive, Samael.”
“He’s moved on for a day or two. If you go tonight he won’t see. Once he returns he’ll find out that someone visited, but he won’t know who. Obviously, our brothers don’t know your vessel. So, they’ll have no idea it’s you. It’s the only thing that makes Sense, Az. As you said, your boy needs help.”
Turning the idea over in his head, Azrael tried to come up with another idea, but in the end, knew that it was the only way. Nodding his thanks, he disappeared from the pub leaving Samael to his beer. He had a big brother to straighten out.
Homing in on Aaron Hotchner, Azrael found the man in his tent alone. He didn’t know how on earth he got so lucky but wasn’t going to look a gift horse in the mouth. Moving to the man’s side he slowly made himself visible, smirking at the man’s start.
“What the fuck! Who are you!?”
Azrael rolled his eyes at the gun pointed at his face, and with a flick of his wrist, the weapon was moved to the other side of the tent. “I don’t think there is a need for such dramatics, mate. That weapon won’t work on me.”
He saw Aaron look around and sighed when he called for help.
“They can’t hear you. I can assure you that I am not here to hurt you. Just the opposite in fact. You are making decisions based on poor information, and if you go through with them your brothers won’t survive.”
“What the hell are you? What do you know about my brothers?”
Azrael studied his boy’s older brother. This wasn’t the first time he’d checked on the man, and he always had torn feelings about his decision to leave the two at their parents’ mercy. Deciding that he didn’t have time for this game of twenty questions, he decided to pull out the big guns. He just hoped that no one in heaven was paying attention.
Letting loose on his grace gradually, Azrael let his grace glow casting the shadow of his wings on the back of the tent. “My name isn’t important right now, but what I am is an Angel of God. I have been watching over your brother Anthony, and I am here to tell you that he’s in danger. You need to get home as soon as possible. He won’t survive long without you. Things with your mother and step-father didn’t go as you planned. They have sold themselves to demons, and your brothers need you. Return home, Aaron Hotchner, before it’s too late, and you have no siblings left.”
Sensing his time was running low, Azrael disappeared in a flash of light. He could only hope that the elder brother would do as he suggested. Tony’s life depended upon it.