Title: It’s Forever and Ever, Amen
Author: SpencnerTibbsLuvr (KliqzAngel)/LuvzDiNozzo
Fandoms: NCIS and James Bond (Craig ‘Verse & ooQ ‘Verse)
Relationship: Tony DiNozzo/Alec Trevelyan
Characters: Tony DiNozzo and Alec Trevelyan
Warnings: Angst, Sentinel and Guides are known, Alec can be treated like an OC, Knowledge of James Bond Fandom not needed, 00Q Verse Alec not Bond Verse Alec, Mild Character Bashing
Word Count: 2805
Author’s Note: Edward Paddington is one of my OC’s who works at MI6 and is friends with James and Alec. He’s also Tony’s cousin. Q is also a Paddington and his full name is Ashcroft Roosevelt Paddington. If you’re familiar with my stories you’ve read them both before. This was written for the Forever Angst July challenge, which is a picture prompt challenge with a 5K word max. My Rough Trade fic is fighting me so I worked on this instead. I made them Sentinel and Guide to try and stay in the S&G mindset for the current RT challenge.
Summary: Tony’s been bonded to his Sentinel Alec Trevelyan for about three months. There’s a wall inside Alec though hiding whatever made the former MI6 agent willing to leave England for the US. Tony’s been patient so far, but that’s about to end.
It’s Forever and Ever, Amen
“What do you see when you look in that mirror?” The man in the passenger’s side seat asked, and Alec knew he should look his direction, but his eyes were glued to the rear-view mirror, which his mind was taunting him with an image himself as a child.
“A boy who didn’t realize that the whole world hated him,” Alec muttered angrily and flinched slightly when he felt the touch of the other man’s hand on his own.
“The whole world can’t hate you,” the man protested, and Alec snorted darkly, “I don’t hate you.” The man finished, and this time Alec did look his way.
“Then you’re a bigger fool than I am,” and with that Alec Trevelyan got out of the car leaving his new Guide of three months, NCIS Special Agent Tony DiNozzo, behind.
Once the driver’s side door was closed, Tony let loose a sigh and found himself running a hand through his hair, as he tried not to get lost in his worry and frustration. The pair had met on Tony’s last trip back to England to visit his Paddington relatives. He’d heard Alec’s name mentioned in stories more than once over the years, but this recent trip was the first time he’d met the man.
From the second that they’d laid eyes on each other, it was apparent that they were meant to be together. The problem then and now was that Tony’s Sentinel was wrapped up in a thick blanket of anger and mental pain that Tony was having a hard time navigating his way through. Alec had almost immediately wrapped himself around Tony when they met making it clear how much he needed the American in his life, but it had taken weeks for Tony to convince the MI6 agent that he deserved what life was handing him.
Opening the door, Tony finally got out and made his way into the building where his apartment was located. When Alec insisted that he be the one to relocate, Tony offered to give up his apartment so that they could get a house, but once more the Sentinel refused. If the Sentinel didn’t cling to Tony so tightly in his sleep and whisper phrases of love and devotion when he thought the Guide was asleep, Tony might have been unsure at how well their bonding was going. When Tony had asked Gibbs what the words meant, his boss had translated with a grin but ended with a serious warning. “That man loves you, DiNozzo. I don’t know what happened back in England to cause that much pain, but he loves you. Don’t you give up on him. I doubt he’d survive it.”
While the warning had been appreciated, it hadn’t been necessary. It confirmed things Tony suspected, but it was nice to hear his mentor and friend verify his suspicions. Yawning, Tony ran a hand over the back of his neck and slowly made his way up the stairs for some late-night exercise. Plus, it gave him more time to consider what to do with the Sentinel he was growing to care for deeply.
When Tony walked into their apartment, he could feel that Alec was somewhere inside, but didn’t see him in the front room. After changing out of his suit, Tony padded through the apartment in a pair of OSU sweats and an old NCIS t-shirt. Eventually, he found his Sentinel in a back room that he’d converted into a library. The room had a large window that offered the perfect spot for people watching, and Alec tended to gravitate there when he wanted to brood.
Tony wasn’t surprised to see the tumbler of clear liquid in the other man’s hand that was dangling down by his side. Usually, Tony would have walked out or settled in a chair to read and left the Russian born Brit alone, but that hadn’t been working. So, instead, he headed toward his mate and wrapped his arms around the man’s waist as he rested his chin on his shoulder. Immediately the Sentinel tensed, but Tony waited where he was, and eventually, Alec relaxed in his arms. Turning his face towards the other man’s neck, Tony pressed his lips against the warm skin there leaving a kiss before he spoke quietly to his mate.
“I love you so fucking much,” Tony began and felt Alec still even further, which the Guide hadn’t thought was possible previously. “When I realized that you were my Sentinel it was the best day of my life. I’ve been waiting for you since my mother died, and there will never be even a second that I will regret bonding myself with you. I don’t know what they did that hurt you so much, but I hate them for it. It kills me to feel you cut yourself off from me because you think that I shouldn’t have to suffer your pain. The truth is, I’d rather hurt with you than be left in this unending darkness where I have no clue what is going on in your head and your heart.”
“Solnishko,” Alec breathed as he touched his forehead to the cool glass of the window, “I don’t deserve you, but I need you so much.”
“If I were any kind of man I would have never let you bind yourself to one as damaged and unworthy of your light as I. The fact that I trapped you in my world of darkness just proves them all right.”
“Tell me what they did to you,” Tony whispered his voice thick with emotion, which wouldn’t allow him to speak any louder even if he wanted to.
“They banished me,” Alec finally answered just as Tony was beginning to think he wouldn’t. It wasn’t the first time that the Guide tried to get answers to what MI6 did to hurt his Sentinel so badly. “I suppose I should be used to losing my home, but I admit I never thought I would lose this. I’ve lost two sets of parents. Now, I’ve lost two countries I called home at some point, and worse I’ve lost the people I’d gathered to make myself a family. All I have is you, and it’s just a matter of time until you realize that the rest of the world is right, Lyubimiy.”
“No,” Tony said quietly but firmly as he stepped back and tugged on Alec’s arm until the blond was looking at him. “I will not leave you. Not today. Not tomorrow. Not any day after that. I am yours, and you are mine and fuck those pricks at MI6 for hurting you so much you think it’s even possible. I am sure somehow that fucker Bond is responsible for this. And, I know. I know. He’s your friend. He’s Edward’s friend. He’s everyone’s friend, but mine, and I say that not out of jealousy because I am more than ok with our mutual distaste. We have a personality clash that even Edward has come to accept, but there are few people at that place that could have hurt you this badly. Since I know for a fact that Edward and Ashcroft are both incredibly worried about you that just leaves that… man.”
Pulling Alec away from the window, Tony moved them to the leather couch where he settled, tugging Alec down to sit next to him. Sensing that his Sentinel was craving contact, Tony curled both of his hands around Alec’s and leaned against his side. Somewhere between the window and the couch, the tumbler of Vodka had been abandoned. This left plenty of room for their two Spirit Guides, Sasha who was Alec’s Amur Leopard, and Sinatra who was Tony’s Red Fox, to settle around them.
“Tell me what happened,” Tony requested as he looked at his Sentinel who was running his free hand through Sasha’s soft fur as Alec looked at the Spirit Animal. “Please, tell me what they did, because there’s no way you did something to actually deserve banishment and still have the entirety of the Paddington Family on your side.”
“The prior M and I never really got along,” Alec started finally. His voice deep and his accent heavier than normal from the painful emotions Tony could for once feel swirling in his Mate’s head. Along with the tumbler, the block that had been keeping his Sentinel’s emotions hidden from him had also dropped between the window and the couch. Tony had no idea how Alec had been living with such pain but quietly damned those jackasses at MI6.
“At times we could tolerate each other and tried to be civil given that she was my boss. Mostly though we were oil and water. I mostly thought she was a manipulative witch who let Bond get away with things that put the whole agency at risk and held the rest of us to a standard that at times felt impossible to meet. She and James had some odd almost mother-son relationship that I think at least contributed to some of his more problematic behavior. Please, don’t mistake my words. James is, despite the fact that he hates me now, my best friend and always will be, but there are times that he does things that put us all at risk. It’s actually what M and I were arguing about that last time I spoke with her.”
Alec shook his head as he let out a deep sigh, and when he fell silent for a moment, Tony let him alone. As he waited for his Sentinel to continue, Tony sent as much love and support as he could along the bond. Finally, his efforts were rewarded, and the other man continued to speak. “James was in no shape to be in the field. We all knew that he manipulated some of those tests and that M ignored the other ones he couldn’t fake because Bond was getting restless. M had her own agenda though and wanted him in the field even though either Edward or myself would have been perfectly capable of handling the situation with Silva. Putting Bond in the field only distracted Q, which made him make that stupid mistake that nearly took the whole thing down. She didn’t want to hear me though and sent me out on some godawful protection detail on the other side of the fuckin’ planet. When things fell apart, I wasn’t in any position of being able to get home to help. By the time I got back, M was dead, and James was nearly inconsolable.
“Of course, James somehow knew about the argument and said that it proved that I was only his friend to his face. He said that M’s death was on my hands, because if I hadn’t been trying to take his place, then I would have been in England and could have helped him stopped Silva. When Gareth came in, it seems that he agreed with Bond, because he informed me that I was too big of a risk. As a courtesy to the Paddington family, he wouldn’t order my death, but from there on out, I was considered persona non grata to MI6. I don’t think I was even out of the building before they had me on the Banished List. Edward and Q took me back to Paddington Castle, where I met you. The rest, as you American’s say, is history.”
Finally, once the story was over, Alec’s beautiful blue eyes turned his way, and Tony couldn’t resist lifting a hand to touch his Mate’s cheek. “I’m sorry,” he said quietly not wanting to jar the solemn feeling that seemed to have settled around them. “I can feel that at least part of you thinks that James is right, and I will remind you as long as I have to that you’re wrong. You are in no way responsible for M’s death. She was a formidable woman and did a lot of good for MI6 and England. As you pointed out though she had her flaws, and how she handled Bond versus the rest of you was the biggest one. I know that Uncle George though a great deal of her but disagreed with the long leash she gave 007. I also know a couple more things I don’t think you do from the sounds of it.”
When Alec just arched an eyebrow at him, Tony continued. “First off, you aren’t the only one who argued with her over James’ readiness. That’s why Edward wasn’t in the country either because he had a similar argument with her I am guessing after she sent you off. While he wasn’t sent quite as far as you, he was shipped off here to the states. Secondly, M had to put in your banishment himself, because not just Ashcroft, but Tanner also refused to do it. I overheard a conversation between Ash and Uncle George while I was at the castle, and it didn’t make sense until now. Lastly, while I am in no way condoning his words or actions, I think there’s a chance that James isn’t quite as mad at you as he led you to believe.”
When Alec opened his mouth to argue, Tony put two fingers over his lips, and after leaning in to give him, a peck continued. “Please, love, let me finish. While I know I’m not an expert on friendship, I am good at reading and judging people. There is that whole thing about the ones we hurt the easiest or the quickest are the ones we love the most, and I have found it to be true. People take things out on those around them the most often, or the ones that they know will forgive them because they love them.
“My guess is that James needed a target because he wasn’t ready to admit that he was in no way prepared to be in the field, and you were an easy target. I mean, why not be mad at Edward? As you say, he wasn’t in England either, but Edward would have handed him his ass if Bond had gone after him. As to Gareth, well, I don’t know what happened there, but I have a feeling he’s come to regret his decision.
“From what Edward has told me things haven’t run as smoothly after you’ve left. James just got more headstrong, and eventually, it couldn’t be ignored that he needed to get his head back into a more positive headspace after everything that he’s been through. Last I heard he’d run off with some woman. I know that the family, my family the Paddington’s that is, support you and don’t hold you responsible. Edward and Ash, heck even Auntie Olivia and Auntie Isabella, ask about you every time I speak with them. Eddie and Ash want to come see us but have been trying to give you space to adjust. Personally, I am thankful that they’re such a barrel of bloody morons, because if both M’s hadn’t been such asshats, then I might never have found you.”
“That we can agree on, Dorogoi,” Alec agreed, leaning over to rest his head against Tony’s. “You are my only and best bright spot and make the whole bloody thing worth it. I am trying to move on from MI6 and trust that NCIS is my home. I will admit that being able to terrorize the little Mossad Princess on a daily basis helps. Although, that other one makes me long for Q every day.”
Tony laughed before giving his Sentinel a kiss. “I’ve often thought the same thing when it comes to McGee, but I don’t think Vance could handle Q. As to Ziva, watching you terrorize her is my favorite thing about work also. So, it works out. Soon, we’ll be able to prove that she’s stealing information, and hopefully, we’ll be rid of her. Or, we can just leave, steal Eddie and Q and maybe Gibbs and start something of our own. Either way, it’s you and me, babe, and ain’t nothin’ anyone else can do about it. This isn’t for today, or for the moment. It’s forever and ever, amen.”
When Alec brought their joined hands to his mouth and left a kiss, Tony just smiled and sent more love and affection through the bond. Hopefully, now he’d be able to invite Edward and Ashcroft and maybe the rest of the Paddington crew to come to see them. Tony knew that his family needed to see that Alec was ok as much as Alec needed to see now everyone hates him. Tony didn’t care how long it took, but eventually, he’d know that not everyone hates him just like that little boy in his head once did.
End Note: Translations are thanks to this website.
Lyubimiy – My Love
Solnishko – Endearing form of the Sun